The night goes on like usual. I got nothing to do, and I still can't sleep. I look around my own living room, and I got my eyes on my games. As I stare to my games, there is something that is being recalled to my head...
I remember when I was five, playing video games alone in the house without my siblings or parent accompanying me. Even though I always stick to video games, I still have friends because when we were still children, we do anything that our parents told us (going to school, going to playground playing with neighbors). After I get to know my neighbors, we become friends and we all will go to each others house and play games.
Until I was in standard 6, I play games with my brother usually, or maybe my neighbors. Games such as Ninja Turtles, Twisted Metal, Winning Eleven, and Tom and Jerry are our favorites. My sister monitored us sometimes. Yeah, it were great days as a growing child.
Many things change at the moment I enrolled in a boarding school. My days in school and days in home is totally different. I am outgoing, cheerful and talkative when I am in school, since I have a lot of friends there. A lot of things to do with my friends; study, sports, and field trips were some of the usual things. But as soon as I got back home, I become silent, moody and indifferent toward others. I never know why, and I had been like this until I was From 5.
Every time I went back home, I can just go to the football field and my friends from primary school will be there. I always missed them when I was in boarding school, they are my irreplaceable friends. But as time pass away, we all will grow up, and there are things we tend to forget. I never saw them at the football field again. I didn't even have their phone numbers. Every time I gave them my phone number, my phone will be stolen at my school. So I kept changing my number, and their numbers lost with the phone too. It is hard to get in line, as we all have our own lives now, and we walk on different path. Until now, we never met. I miss you guys, I really do, you know?
My friends in my school? Yeah, they are my friends, but when holiday came, we all went back to our home, and usually in different cities and states. We all met at one place some times, but it's not like everyday. To keep my boredom away, games was the only thing I had.
I really wanted someone to be with me, at least play games with me. But nothing seems to change. I try to find my old friends but they always had their own things to do. Even if I met them, the awkwardness will surround us. Until one day, I gave up to look for them. I stay locked in my room, unless if my friends from boarding school invited me to go out. I was not in good term with my family until I graduated from my school.
Playing games is the only thing that I can do whenever holidays arrived. I guess I really miss the time when I was a kid, where my friends come to my house and we all would play games together, laughing out loud and make the house become crowded..
After my graduation, I have a very long holiday before getting enrolled to my preparation college. During that holiday, I always invited my friends to stay in my house for a few days. Also at my last two month at my prep college, I brought my TV and Playstation2 to my room so that people can come along and enjoy playing games together. Now in Madison, I bought a lot of games that can be played for two players or more in my house.
The only reason for me doing those things, I guess, is that I really miss the moment where my friends come to my house and we all had fun together playing games. It has been a long time since I last enjoyed playing games with a friend.
I'm sorry if I had ever used all of you just to get a glimpse of my childhood moments. There are things that I still can't let go even if I have grown up. I guess I am not that matured. I know, I don't need games as a medium to get friends. But there a lot of things that I wanna do went I was still a kid that I haven't do and I, unintentionally, did it now.
I just need to let it go from my chest, and now I'm feeling better after telling it. I know that I am being feel-ish right now, I feel sad when I think about it again. Those are the things that I want to fill in my childhood, but I didn't, and now I'm letting it off. Even though I am a grown up now and I have my own responsibilities...
I still want to play games with you guys