Skip to main content


Showing posts from October, 2010

Well At Least There Are Some Hope

After more than four weeks of waiting, I finally received some news from MARA. It's not really a good news, but it's not a bad news either. Well let's get straight to the point: MARA won't support my expenses for this semester, and will only continue to support me after I received a good result for this semester. Meaning I need to get GPA above 3.00 for Fall 2010.

I don't think it's a bad deal, after all I'm the one who messed up real bad. First let's talk about how am I going to live for now. Of course, everything will come from my parents. I feel truly awful right now, since it shouldn't happen this way. I could make it a lot easier, by getting a good result. No matter how much I regret it, it was already in the past, so I just need to keep on moving. I know I was terrible, but I won't let it happen again.

Secondly, about my studies right now. So after one month, how is everything? Except Econ 102, I don't have any problems. Arabic? Excell…


I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind,
But I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was po…


Dear sleep,

just take away my consciousness as soon as you can. I don't want any moment that I can think for myself.

Thinking more that he should,

I Am In Debt

To my family, and also all my friends and teachers + lecturers, I am truly indebted to all of you for the full support that you are giving to me. I don't know if I am able to pay it while I am still alive. But I promise, as long as I am alive, I will not waste this opportunity that I received, and neither will I forget for all the things that you all had done for me.

I am struggling with my studies right now, and I know there a lot more challenges that I need to face, but I will be strong and never give up, no matter what awaits me.

"Dear Allah, all of these people have been supporting me with all their might and with patience, and I hope that You can give them the same reward, just like what I received from them. Please bless them with Your light and guidance, as long as they are alive, and even in the afterlife. I am grateful to You that I am surrounded by these wonderful people"