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It's About Time

Before I got back to Malaysia, I planned to forget about everything and just enjoy my holiday. Doing nothing, just goofing around, spend times with my family and play games. Don't want to think about studies or responsibilities. I just want to take my time and think of nothing.

Throughout the holiday, I may not have done anything serious, if compared to others' life. Doing internship, taking class, working part-time, or even getting married. Even though my holiday is empty, I don't think it is meaningless. In fact, I believe that the emptiness is the best for me.

My problems are not that big, I admit, but they did largely affect me. Mostly my fault, anyway, so I don't deserve to blame anyone. But I'll face it, and deal with it. I'm not that fucking strong, but what choice do I have besides being strong, and be brave enough to accept my own truth? It's bitter, but only for that once.

Now that I have only less than one month before going back to Madison, I need to start thinking about what to do next semester as it will be my toughest. Not just in studies, but in my self-management too. I will be living alone next sem, so no one will be looking at what I do besides myself and Him. There are a lot of things I need to think about, and I'm not sure if I'll make it next sem. But it's not like I have a choice. I'll make it through.

I am not matured, compared to most of you guys, I know. But I am not trying to pretend I am mature, or qualified enough to look down on others. I don't want to be an adult who thinks he is always right. I still have a lot to improve, and I will.

I'll stop here.


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