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Learning From Last Semester

New semester is starting next week, but I still haven't finished packing up or physically prepared. It will get more and more challenging, not only on the materials but also on time management, emotional wellness, stress handling, and so on. Results will also be announced on next Friday (2/14), and honestly I am a bit restless.

During the third semester, there were no weekly tutorial questions, so I became a bit lazier to do my own revision. Unless if exams are near, I wouldn't even touch my notes. My own mistakes there, since I have become dependent on lecturers to give assignments rather than to search for my own. Sadly enough, it's not that I did all the assignments that the lecturer gave. The semester was definitely my laziest.

But many still keep on working hard.

Then, when helping my friends, I tend to get emotional. I should have known better that most of the juniors don't really know the materials. I guess that's what studying in matriks and asasi did to them. I believe the studies in both matriks and asasi were so easy (I really want to do a research on this) that they didn't expect the materials in UKM to be that hard. So when they asked for my help, I was super totally surprised by their level of understanding and level of logical thinking. I want to believe that it is not their fault. But sometimes I let my emotion get the best of me.

Perhaps, I tried too hard in order to help others. I know, I don't have any responsibilities or 'kewajiban' to help my friends and my juniors. But I always imagine the situation where I was hopeless in understanding the course materials when I was in the last semester in the UW, thinking that it would be great if someone can help me, to teach me. That became my motivation, as I think that there must be someone else who feels the same way as I do. That's why I offered my help, give advice, and always ask around.

I know, my method may not be efficient and fully effective. Sometimes I am too 'garang', sometimes I am too busy, sometimes I became so mad.. But that's why I want to improve more and more. For my friends and juniors who still need helps, and still believe in me. I will keep on doing that, until I can control my emotions and become a better teacher.

In order to teach, I need to know what am I teaching first. So I can't be lazy, and can't be studying just for exams. I need to be more responsible with myself: start studying earlier, don't waste time, make revisions actively, take notes, keep focused, and such. The most important think is, I need to do revision on the second semester's materials (which include Calculus II, Statistics I and Linear Algebra). Don't repeat the same mistakes, and don't forget the reasons why I entered UKM in the first place.

Then, I hope that my will to help others will be inherited by the juniors, and the juniors after them.

Keep up the spirit


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