Skip to main content

Wishing To...

If there's one thing that will make me wish I could die right now, it would be my debts. With a friend, with my parents, and with MARA. I will write a will so that my life insurance (if there's any) will first be used to pay all that. I'll probably plan a suicide that will look like accident. It's hard to do it though with my current knowledge, but there are a lot of inspiration I can get from.



What pressures me the most is the deadline. But without it, I will be taking my sweet time to pay for them. Geez. That's why our religion urges us to pay our debts as soon as we have the money. I am a terrible borrower, I need to realize that.

I know, dying won't change anything. As long we are alive, we still can change something about our live.

I hate my life right now, I hate myself even more. But that's more the reason for me to keep going and learn from my mistakes. Not everyone can wait though.

Be strong only is not enough. Do it.

-Random Rants-

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Emotional State

My current emotional state is like this: I am sitting in a room. The door and the windows are open. I let things and people come in freely, and I will entertain anyone who enters my room. But I, for sure, will not come out of that room. The room is open but the mental barrier is there.
Post a Comment
Read more

A Little Debate About Love and Commitment

A week after thanksgiving, we had a group discussion about Islam. To make it short, suddenly it become a debate of my commitments toward someone. Yes, it is about love. These are the questions, and my answer: If you guys love each other, why don't you just be in relationship? If we are in love, doesn't mean we MUST be in love. Being in relationship doesn't give any assurance that you are going to get married to each other. Most of my friends that are in relationship often ended up in failure, though a few (like one out of 50) still manage to maintain for 3-4 years. If you are ready to be in relationship, then you must be ready to get married. You give your commitment, attention and time for your partner, isn't it the same as married couple?* I never say being is relationship is wrong, but people who in relationship is the trouble. We always want the good thing (getting attention, sharing our love, etc) but always avoid the hard part (our responsibilities, commitment, et...
23 comments
Read more