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Tell Me

I am not proud that I am going back to Malaysia. Everyone else go back because they have achieved what they have to do here: to graduate. Me? I'm going back because I don't think I am capable of continuing.

It was so hard to decide. Really, really hard. To go on with just one year left with a little hope of doing it, or turn back and change the path, but longer. There are no right or wrong, just choices.



I am happy that I will go back to Malaysia. I am sad that I need to leave Madison. I am excited for something new that is waiting for me. I feel sad thinking of all the memories here in Madison. I am happy to continue in Malaysia. I am sad I can't graduate in Madison.

I try to put a strong front, so that I won't whine a lot to others in the same time I don't keep feeling sad and down. Just in my blog and to certain people (thank you). I don't want to run away. I don't want to lost contact with my friends. I don't want to just suddenly disappear on my friends. I want to know how they are progressing. I don't want them to fail just like me. I pray that nobody will repeat what I repeat.

To be honest I don't if I should feel happy, sad, just neutral, or a little bit of both. Guess I, too, am concerned with what people are going to say about me. Whatever they want to say about me, I just hope it is the truth, even if it's bad. That's why I decided not to keep this as a secret.

-Mixed Feelings-


Comments

  1. well, what's done is done. may your new path will be much better for you.

    unrelated: batman arkham city... aku da maen da. bes dowh rase nak beli lak. pe beza ps3 ngan xboxnye

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, I agree with Leng Chai, though I personally don't know what to say. If I'm in your shoes, even I wouldn't know how to react.

    It's good enough that you're moving forward instead of slumping into depression. Just hope for the best in the future. Like the cliched words that people spout out always say: 'Apa-apa yang berlaku, mesti ada sebab dia'.

    -Kai

    ReplyDelete
  3. Leng Chai - some things just continue to linger unconsciously. Like "what will people say about me?" and "what are they going to say to me?". But hey, I'll try to focus on what's important :) nie yg malas nak jumpa family2 lain since nak dekat raya dh -_-

    kai - I'm lucky to have a lot of people who helped me to guide me on what to do :) kai bila balik malaysia?

    ReplyDelete
  4. uhh thats the unpleasant part that you will have to bear with for quite sometimes but they will be gone eventually.

    ReplyDelete
  5. btw aku ada batman arkham city tapi tak main2 lagi haha. sama jer dua2 pun

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kalau semua berjalan lancar, balik 31st august ni.

    -Kai

    ReplyDelete

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