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Just Be Yourself

Just be myself?
How can I when I don't have one?

I never had one
Maybe, really
I don't know for sure
But
If people ask me
"Please describe yourself"
...
I don't know
Stop asking

I never had an intention on my own
Following what others are doing, that's what I did
If my parents didn't tell me to go to boarding school
I will never do it
If my friends didn't apply for MRSM Jasin
I will never go there
If my mom didn't scold me for not applying any scholarship
I will never apply one
If my mother didn't ask me to have car license
I would never had one
If I did not have the opportunity to study at INTEC
I would not care
If my friends did not apply for University in US
I never will
If I never had an opportunity to study overseas
I will be happy enough to study in Malaysia
I only remember that I struggled to get to you
That I wanted you so much
But
I didn't know how to maintain it
I'm truly sorry, dear

Who am I?
There are only a few things that I know
Someone who once love maths very much
Someone who love to play video games
Other than that?I don't remember
nor can I tell others
I really don't know
If I don't have others besides me
I won't survive

I always wanted to be like persona I know in video games
I always wanted to be like characters that I like in movies
and suddenly
I forgot to be myself

Who am I actually?
I'm still searching

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