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Love Life

Song: Wiosna - Theme of Katawa Shoujo

Being a very critical person and opinionated on someone else's love life, I used to hate when other people are in a relationship. The reason can be summed up to this: I used to think that those relationships won't get anywhere (or to marriage, specifically). I was so against couples that don't seem like taking their relationship seriously. One of my friend said to me that being in relationship is not really meant to be considered seriously into getting married. I think he's implying that couple is just couple, it is a separate case and does not intersect with marriage (but he said that like three years ago). One question that lingers in my mind is "Then for what reasons do we be in relationship?"

Not trying to be philosophical or critical, I changed my mindset a little. I used to hate couples because I don't believe those relationship will last (in some point I wish they will break up as soon as possible), but I have been training myself to be as earnest as possible to wish and hope that every couple around me will get married someday. Sometimes if I remember, I also pray for their relationship to move towards the right direction.

Sadly enough, I have been hearing or informed that a few of my friends already ended their relationship with their partner. I feel sad for them, but since I don't know the reasons behind their decisions, I just kept quiet. The urge to know the truth is boiling, but it is not appropriate, especially if it just happened. I sincerely feel bad about what happened. At least I want to believe that it was not anyone's fault, and they broke up in a good term. 

Not all ends are bad end.

On the good side, there are at least three of my friends (in my knowledge as of know) who already tied their knot. Two of them are maintaining long-distance relationship, and they are perfectly fine with their situation since they are still students. It's funny to think that your friend's marriage is making you feel older and somewhat matured. 

In my opinion, it's better to be prepared to bring your relationship into marriage as soon as possible. The big difference between couple and marriage is the element of loves that are present. According to the triangular theory of love by Robert Sternberg, the three components of love are intimacy, passion, and commitment. In couples, the most dominating elements are intimacy and passion (this is romantic love). The absence of commitment is usually what made couples break up after some time. The longer we are in relationship, the less we feel passionate about our partner. But this is not a bad thing! What most couples don't realize is that other components are growing in stead of passion, and they see the decline of passion is rendering their love obsolete and not as, if I may, burning as they were during the beginning of relationship. 

To make my point short, don't feel intimidated when you think that you don't have the same passion towards your partner as you were during the beginning of your relationship. The intimacy is still growing steadily, where you feel comfortable with your partner. Now to get the commitment into your relationship. Couples don't feel the need to commit, that's why they can end their relationship rather easily, if not easier. If you are willing to commit to your partner, then the passion and the intimacy will increase steadily over time, even if it is slowly. 

Then again, this is all my opinions, provided with just a small fact. But I hope you'll find this helpful, even if it's a little. 

To my friends who are in relationship right now, I really hope that your love will last forever, no matter how hard the road to marriage is. To my friends who are still single, don't lose hope. Continually being the right person for your future partner is more important that finding the right person for you as you are right now.

(All the images are from Katawa Shoujo, which I'll explain in some other post)


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