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You Still Do What You Hate

Remember when you told me that you hate what that person did to you? I guess it was all in the past, since you are just repeating what that person did. But you did it on another person, one that you see fit to sacrifice in order for you to gain your satisfaction and what you call happiness.

You can hate anything that you want. No problem with that since we all have something that we don't like. But to do the things that you said you hate, is fucking dumb. You hate it just to relief yourself, to justify that you are not wrong, that the other party was wrong. Now that you can gain benefit from that person, all your principle disappear with your pride.

You said that you don't have a thing for anyone anymore. But once that person came back to your life, you couldn't resist. You were just lying. Not to anyone, but to yourself.

Remember when you still have "that"? Did you really thankful for the things that you have? Remember you said that you don't have a will to do it anymore? Now that you lose it, suddenly you want it back. But back when you had it, you never really cared or showed that you really want to hold it. You ungrateful bastard.

It's OK to be tough when hardships fall upon you. But it's not OK to pretend that you are strong. You build up all the stress, and suddenly you'll blow.

All that you do now is running away. Running until there's nowhere left to run, and now you are living you life covered in lies and comforting illusion that you created for yourself.

Yes, you built up lies in order to protect you from the truth about yourself. Your unwillingness to accept your truth is what makes you become what you are right now.

....

You wasn't like this before. You changed, a lot. And you didn't move any step closer to become better.

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