It's a Wonderful Life

Cikgu, rasanya sudah terlalu lama saya tak menghubungi cikgu sejak kali terakhir saya menjejakkan kaki ke MRSM TGB. Saya betul-betul minta maaf kerana tidak menghubungi cikgu, tetapi bukanlah kerana saya lupakan cikgu. Tidak, tidak sama sekali. Walaupun cikgu tidak pernah mengajar saya di dalam kelas secara formal, dan sudah lama tidak berhubung, tetapi saya masih dapat rasakan hubungan kita masih dalam keadaan yang sama. Betapa gembiranya hati ini apabila mendengar khabar cikgu daripada Farahin. Saya terlalu gembira mengetahui yang cikgu masih ingat kepada saya dan masih kisah tentang keadaan saya. Mengenangkan cikgu, saya menjadi semakin rindu untuk berjumpa dengan cikgu. Mahu sahaja diri ini pulang ke Malaysia sekarang juga untuk berjumpa dengan cikgu. Terlalu banyak yang ingin saya ceritakan kepada cikgu. Terlalu banyak... Saya akan ingat pesanan cikgu. Saya tidak akan meninggalkan perkara yang wajib. Saya akan belajar bersungguh-sungguh. Saya akan menjadi lebih kuat....

I don't really have many place to write what I feel, so this blog is really my place to write everything. If you don't like that I am being emotional, you can just click on the thumbs down. I'm sorry for being emotional. I am utterly sad right now, no doubt about it. I hope I can get back up as soon as possible. I'm never going to give up, and I'll wait

Yesterday, all my friends received the allowance for this month, with the money to buy books. Of course, that did put a smile on everyone's face. I'm positive that some of them will use the money to buy the flight ticket to Malaysia~ But I didn't get it :( Well I'm not that sad though, because I was never meant to receive it in the first place. But I expected that I receive the money since MARA did gave me allowance, until last month. But it's ok though, since I am not the one managing the money, I have my own thing to do, which is to study hard! Things happen, so I shouldn't be too negative about it :D

As stated in one of my post before, I am taking Volleyball class this semester. Today I had the second class, and it's the first time training! As the captain for Malaysian Wisconsin Volleyball team (you'll believe me right? XD), I am more than happy to take this class. The first thing I learned during this class is to never forget about the basics. The method I used to train our team is kinda messed up. We want to learn how to spike quickly, but didn't really bother to perfecting our basic skills. What our instructor taught us is to master the basics stage by stage. Basically it is like this: passing --->>> setting --->>> spiking "If you want to spike you need to learn to set. If you want to set you need to learn to pass. So basics are everything." He said something like that, I think. So after this I will make sure everyone will master the basics first~ The second thing is about passing.  So today we learned about overhand pass, which i...

Human are always forgetful. We forgot almost everything that happened in the past. We tend to forget our history, our roots, or our own mistakes. During my studies in the US, I always forgot that I need to study harder. It seems that getting 1.00 GPA in the first semester didn't mean anything to me. In the end, MARA terminated my scholarship (after summer semester), as a result for me being forgetful. But everything is not as bad as it seems. I did my best on the last semester so that I won't repeat the same mistake, and I did get a good result. It's the best wake-up call ever.  My point is, we need to constantly remind ourselves so that we won't repeat the same mistake. It's undeniable that we tend to forget, and there will be time that we do forget. But the best thing to do is, to immediately stop when we know that we are doing something wrong and remind ourselves again. Having someone else to remind us is one way to go, but in the end, the best thing to do is ...

We always tend to forget that things don't last forever. We think that that something will be there forever, and we become less appreciative. It doesn't has to be something big. Just take a look around us: air, electricity, water, sun, heat and more. Try to imagine a day when water is not available for us. It will be hard for us to take a bath, brush our teeth, or wudhu'. Can we survive without drinking water for the whole day? I know I couldn't. Try to imagine a day when there is no internet connection. We can't log on to our Facebook account. We can't check our emails, especially if there are anything important we are waiting for. We can't play online games. We can't chat with our parents back home. Try to imagine if there is no transport for us to go to college. We need to walk to go to classes, and before that we need to wake up earlier so that we won't be late. Walking in the cold weather, or under direct Sun's, then we got tired by...

First of all, praise be to Allah for giving me a chance to still be here in Madison, continuing my studies. My result for last semester will be for nothing if I don't get good results for coming semesters, so I will strive for better result! (4.00, anyone?) I will only have two classes tomorrow, starting at 8:50 a.m. and end at 11:50 a.m.~ Monday will be my busiest day of the week, followed by Wednesday. All my class this semester will be taking attendance, so I can't afford to miss a single class, and that is my greatest challenge =( I am still not sure about my schedule; either I'll be taking 13 or 16 credits. I will post my schedule here after I fully decide. Hopefully this semester will be better than the last! And you too, I'll be praying for your success!

I really, really wanted to say I'm sorry, but the words won't come out. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I will repeat the same mistake again. I don't want it to be worse than the way things are now. There are a lot of things that I regret.

Now I can't help myself from having this feeling. I hate myself :( Can I just disappear and let everything solve by itself? Please Zafree, please be stronger. I know I can do this. Just a little bit more is enough. -random short post again-

It's really hard to pretend like everything is alright. I tried to act like there's nothing, but I know what my true feelings are. I am worried, I am scared, and I am missing you. There are a lot in my mind, but I can't do it.. It's all because of my stupid action in the past, and I don't think there is any way to gain your trust again. Right now, the only thing that I can do is to let you do what you want, and to not disturb you at any time. It's really hard to fight this feeling. I really want to know what you are doing now. I really want to know whether everything is alright on your side. But I just can't. I am too afraid that I'll make the same mistake again. I just want hear your voice again.. But I guess I already lost my chances a long time ago. I'll wait.

This is just a rant about a manga I read, but it gives me this wtf moment so I really need to write about it. I don't remember since when, but I have been following the Kimi No Iru Machi (KNIM) manga, and read it until the latest chapter. KNIM is a romance manga, more shonen-ly type, and it follows Haruto Kirishima, just your average everyday teenager (just kidding) Anyway, this manga is pretty good, and I recommend you to read it :) Here's the link There will a a big damn SPOILER for this one, so don't read this post through. ***SPOILER START*** The first chapter of KNIM introduces it's audience to Yuzuki Eba, the main heroine for this manga, who just transferred from Tokyo and live the same house with our main hero, Haruto Kirishima, in Hiroshima Prefecture. In the beginning of the series, Haruto actually likes his classmate, Nanami Kanzaki. He tried his best to capture her heart, but was finally rejected, because Nanami suspected that Haruto actually really ...

Giving up is part of life. Well, it is a possibility that until this day, you never given up but to others out there, they have felt what it's like to give up on something. Life isn't easy. It's inevitable to avoid problems and hardships in our lives. School, homework, jobs, assignments, college, love, marriage, children, you name it. There are bound to be problems in everything that we do. We, human, are given a choice to give up if things aren't going our way. Please read this until the end first before you assume that I want everybody in this world to give up. We give up when we know we couldn't finish a job. We give up when we know studying won't change our grades. We give up when we know a task is too hard to complete. We give up when we are waiting for so long. We give up when we know there aren't any place to hide. We give up when we know going straight ahead will only lead to despair We give up when we don't see any hope. We give up bec...