Skip to main content

Emotional Dependency

I want to admit on how much I rely on others to make me happy.

The easiest example would be during my study. It is really hard for me to just study for my own sake. All this time, for all the good results that I got, the credits go to all of my friends who asked for my help to teach them (special mention goes to Yan for always believing that I can help with her studies throughout degree).

Back in the States, I was always alone, especially when it involves my studies. Long story short, my results were as bad as they could be. Not being able to study with others demotivated me. Then, during my first Masters studies (full research), I was living in solidarity. Hence the reason why I cannot finish my study.

Right now, I am happy with the fact that I have more friends to study with, but I don't want to simply depend on others. When others seek for my help, I was the one who actually received the help. It empowers me to help others, which is a good thing, but it is bad when I always depended on others reliance on me.

I don't want to stay this way forever. I want to be emotionally stronger. I want to be more emotionally independent. What's the use of having a great mind but poor emotional management?

I am aware of my emotional dependency. I am aware of how easy it is for me to be anxious. When the anxiety kicks in, all the bad thoughts will be flooding inside my head, and it can be so addicting, so unyielding that breaking away from it takes so much efforts.

Please pray for my emotional well-being.

Added 25/5 11:45AM

Being emotionally dependent have something to do with fear. Perhaps fear of being alone, fear of being worthless, or perhaps fear of being unneeded, to name a few. I am okay with being alone, but not with being worthless.

I should love myself more, and appreciate what I already have.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Post Bukan Untuk Semua Orang, Tapi Ada 4 Orang Patut Terasa

Edited total 7 times by 2/6/2010 1906 Post ini telah diedit disebabkan aku tuan blog (tak menjawab soalan). Post yang asal telah di-save di dalam laptop aku, so anggap la yang tak membace tu...kurang bertuah 1) Jangan aa merajuk 2) Ko pun ...ah malas aa nak cakap 3) Semoga berbahagia 4) Lepas nie kita kena lebih mengekspresi kan perasaan kita dengan cara yang lebih sihat. Terima kasih sebab sanggup turun datang jumpa aku dulu untuk menerangkan everything :) Aku bukannya hendak merendahkan mana2 pihak, tapi mungkin method aku agak extreme. Minta maaf kepada semua pihak yang terlibat.
30 comments
Read more

A Little Debate About Love and Commitment

A week after thanksgiving, we had a group discussion about Islam. To make it short, suddenly it become a debate of my commitments toward someone. Yes, it is about love. These are the questions, and my answer: If you guys love each other, why don't you just be in relationship? If we are in love, doesn't mean we MUST be in love. Being in relationship doesn't give any assurance that you are going to get married to each other. Most of my friends that are in relationship often ended up in failure, though a few (like one out of 50) still manage to maintain for 3-4 years. If you are ready to be in relationship, then you must be ready to get married. You give your commitment, attention and time for your partner, isn't it the same as married couple?* I never say being is relationship is wrong, but people who in relationship is the trouble. We always want the good thing (getting attention, sharing our love, etc) but always avoid the hard part (our responsibilities, commitment, et
23 comments
Read more

I Am Not Going Back To United States

Just after the day I arrived, I got caught up in an accident. Now, just another week before going back to USA, I received a bad news. MARA told me that they had terminated my sponsorship. Yes, this is not a hoax. I received the letter two days ago, and now I decided to give a full story to you readers.
20 comments
Read more