It's a Wonderful Life

After I decided to go back to Malaysia, I have been thinking a lot. Like, how my attitude should be: Sad? Be positive? Just concentrate on what is in front? Forget? Act normal like nothing happened? Be truthful to my families and friends? Just hide it? It is hard to find the sweet spot for what should I do. Too positive, then I might not have a feeling of regret. Too sad, and I won't be able to focus on my future.  I don't particularly care what others think of me, especially if they are wrong. But, if my families and friends have something to say, that is true about myself, then I'll try my best to listen. I have a very big ego, so taking it to the heart for the first time will be hard. Reminding myself constantly will be one of the way, and something that I rarely done before. I'm not afraid of what others talk behind me, because most of them are wrong and biased. But I kind of afraid with what people going to say in front of me, because when they are prepared to b...

With a lot of things to do before going back, I guess writing a few things about games wouldn't hurt. Nowadays it's hard to find games that have minimal gameplay but heavy-handed on the story. Games like Phoenix Wright, Professor Layton, Ghost Trick, and 9 Hours 9 Persons 9 Doors are hard to come by lately. The funny thing is that all these games are for Nintendo DS. People really can do amazing things within a limited space and option. In this case, it's the limitation on a hardware that is considered the weakest on its generation (compares to PSP, PS3, 360 and Wii). Games like this one are hard to come by lately. I like these games because I can dive into the world, and the feeling of anticipating on what happen next is thrilling. It's like reading a good novel, you can't wait to find out when your questions will be answered. Then you'll solve puzzles and riddles in order to move forward with the story. The memories are unforgettable. The only downsid...

When you messed up on a path you took, you can either turn back and choose another or force through the obstacle and keep moving forward. In my case, I choose to step back and start over. But it's not hard to do so. It is as hard as going forward, if not harder. To turn back and start over, is it the same as running away? To be honest, I don't know the answer. I have this feeling that I am running away, but in the same time, I am not. Why didn't I just be stronger and keep going? Why did I choose to go back to Malaysia? I know that trials are meant to be overcome so that we will become a better person, not to hinder us from getting what we want. But...it is not easy to do that. I may be a loser, as I choose to go back instead of continuing when I have only one year before graduation. I choose to go back not to start over actually, but to continue where I left. I want to pursue what I really want, which is Mathematics. I do not hate Actuarial Science, but I do not enjoy ...

I'm glad that I am taking Asian American Movement class as my last class. I can feel like it is a fate. Everything that I learned in this class up to this day feels like was meant to be, and what I needed the most. From learning about racial identity and racism, learning taiji quan and chan quan movements, the zazen practice and medication, to creating a dance movement with my partner, there is nothing I learned that feel like a waste. Even though it was only a three-week class (and just finished with week two), I believe that this is the most meaningful class I had ever take here in UW. I hope that all those things that I learn will be integrated in my life so that I can improve and will not repeat the same mistake. After talking to my professor just now, I feel more enlighten and fresh. I have something I need to tell my friend here in Madison, and I'll do it when the time comes.