It's a Wonderful Life

Everyday we make choices, no matter how small. Sometimes we make conscious choices, sometimes we let our automatic system decide things for us. But there will be times where we are forced to make big decisions. Unless we can peer into the alternate universe, we will never know the consequences of our other choice. Therefore, we will never know if our choice is the best one or not. But that is part of being a human: we live with the consequences of our decision.  Of course, I made a lot bad choices (but how do I know it is bad?) in my life. Sometimes I regretted it, many times I just move along, without knowing it is the preferable outcome or not.  To all affected by my decision, I will pray for your success and happiness in your life and life hereafter. Your happiness might not directly translated into my happiness, but it is better than keep being miserable. Surely, everyone deserves to be happy, no matter how much of a sinner we are. But our choices and actions will d...

We all make choices everyday, and that's what makes us human. Sometimes we make choices consciously (which major to pursue, who do we want to choose for our partner) and sometimes we just unknowingly make decision (we choose the nearest food, suddenly falling in love). I don't know if animals make conscious decision though, but that is for another day. So today I just met my mentor from my degree years, Dr Sakhinah. I'm truly happy that even after I have graduated, it is easy for me to talk to her and she is always willing to listen and give her opinions on my troubles. I have hard choices on a few things right now, so listening to her opinion make it easier for me to believe in my choices. She even praised me for my ability to make choices, instead of just running away (though I have been running away up until now, I know I shouldn't drag it anymore). I have a friend who is currently having a hard time deciding whether he wants to quit his degree or not. Every seme...

Fighting flames of fire Hang onto burning wires We don't care anymore Are we fading lovers? We keep wasting colors Maybe we should let this go We're falling apart, still we hold together We've passed the end, so we chase forever 'Cause this is all we know This feeling's all we know I'll ride my bike up to the road Down the streets right through the city I'll go everywhere you go From Chicago to the coast You tell me, "Hit this and let's go Blow the smoke right through the window" 'Cause this is all we know 'Cause this is all we know 'Cause this is all we know Never face each other One bed different covers We don't care anymore Two hearts still beating On with different rhythms Maybe we should let this go We're falling apart, still we hold together We've passed the end, so we chase forever 'Cause this is all we know This feeling's all we know I'll ride my bike up to the road Down the streets right through the...

Ending a four-year relationship is never easy. Of course, others have it harder, such as a divorce after decades of marriage, death of their spouse, or being cheated by a person you trust the most. We all face hardships at many points in our life. So in my case, though it is not as big as others, it still hurts me most. We never know if we made the right decision or not, because we are not bestowed with the ability to look at the outcome of our other choices. But since we can only look at this one and only outcome, we just live with it, no matter how much we will regret it in the future. You should know, I love(d) you so much. I never hate you as a person, and I am very sure, as of this writing and in the future, you will NEVER hate me. But it's not hate that separate us; it's indifference. It pains me to know that you don't feel anything towards me anymore. It pains me more to know that you aren't putting as much effort as I did in order to make this relationship w...