Just Be Yourself

Just be myself?

How can I when I don't have one?

I never had one

Maybe, really

I don't know for sure

But

If people ask me

"Please describe yourself"

...

I don't know

Stop asking

I never had an intention on my own

Following what others are doing, that's what I did

If my parents didn't tell me to go to boarding school

I will never do it

If my friends didn't apply for MRSM Jasin

I will never go there

If my mom didn't scold me for not applying any scholarship

I will never apply one

If my mother didn't ask me to have car license

I would never had one

If I did not have the opportunity to study at INTEC

I would not care

If my friends did not apply for University in US

I never will

If I never had an opportunity to study overseas

I will be happy enough to study in Malaysia

I only remember that I struggled to get to you

That I wanted you so much

But

I didn't know how to maintain it

I'm truly sorry, dear

Who am I?

There are only a few things that I know

Someone who once love maths very much

Someone who love to play video games

Other than that?I don't remember

nor can I tell others

I really don't know

If I don't have others besides me

I won't survive

I always wanted to be like persona I know in video games

I always wanted to be like characters that I like in movies

and suddenly

I forgot to be myself

Who am I actually?

I'm still searching